Michelle's Madness

Thanksgiving is upon us yet again. The feast always seems to be the main focus, so I try to remind myself to think of all the things in my life that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my wonderful husband, who loves and understands me like no other. I can’t imagine my life without him and am thankful every day that I’m lucky enough to have him.

I am thankful for my sons. They are two of the brightest little spirits I have ever met and I am very lucky to be their mother. They are healthy, happy and smart little boys with vivid imaginations and I love watching them discover the world around them.

I am thankful for my family, with whom we plan to share our Thanksgiving feast. I am thankful for all the things they have done for us over the years, and that we have a loving family to spend the holidays with. I’m also thankful that our parents live close enough to us that the boys can have wonderful relationships with them all.

I am thankful for my job. I don’t always like it, and my early shift is both a blessing and a curse, but I am lucky to have gainful employment in this bad economy.

I am thankful for having a roof over my head. So many people don’t have basic necessities such as a home and I am thankful that we have the means to provide for our family, even if it is a struggle at times. Many people are worse off than we are on our worst day.

I am thankful for being healthy. Sure, I have to see my shrink and take my meds, but I am happy that I have no major health issues to speak of.

Maybe all that I am thankful for is a cliché, the things one is supposed to be thankful for. But it can be easy to take those things for granted, so it’s good to remind myself of all that I have, especially in this busy, stressful season.

Too bad he's not into it or anything!

We were goofing around before the boys went to bed tonight and Logan was showing me his different "faces". Here is a selection:

Happy Face:


Sad Face:


Mad Face:


And then on to the silly faces:

Silly Face #1:



Silly Face #2:


Silly Face #3:


Silly Face #4:


And Jacob got in on the silly face act too:

I miss reading. I have always loved to read, but now I either lack the time or the attention span. When I do have the time, I never know what to read because I never have time to search for books, either to buy or to get from the library.

How could I lose touch with this simple pleasure? I learned to read super early, like when I was 2. I don’t remember a time in my life when I could not read. In fact, I can’t remember an adult reading to me at all because once I learned to read it was basically just left to me to entertain myself with books. No stories read to me before bed, at least not that I can remember. I also skipped part of kindergarten because of my literacy. Apparently I was running around and doing somersaults during class and I was labeled as a discipline problem (nowadays, I’d be labeled ADHD and force-fed drugs). Finally my parents asked what we were learning and the teacher informed them, “We are learning the alphabet, one letter per week. We are up to R”, or some such nonsense. They told the teacher to give me a book. It turns out I was bored and already reading at a fourth grade level. In junior high, I would constantly get in trouble (in Language Arts class, no less) for reading my own books and not paying attention to the lessons. The difference between there, their and they’re… okay, check, got it, now leave me alone. In high school, when the class was taking turns reading a book aloud, I would get bored while some people struggled and I would read ahead. Then when it was my turn, I would be so far ahead that I had no clue where the rest of the class left off and I would get in trouble for not paying attention. I always hated when they would have us take turns reading aloud; I would get bored, and I prefer to read at my own pace. That’s not to say that I’m any better than the people who struggled; it’s just something I excelled at and didn’t need the extra assistance that some students required. Some people in my classes would talk about how uncool reading was; I’d just ignore them, book in hand. Reading was an escape. It was an adventure and way to stimulate my brain.

Even when I was out of school, I was always reading. I’ve always liked suspenseful books, but I’m not married to one particular genre. In fact, when asked what kind of books I prefer, I really can’t answer that question. One of my favorite books is “Icebound” by Dr. Jerri Nielsen, which is her account of the year she spent “wintering over” in the South Pole, where she discovered she had breast cancer. I also loved “I’m Eve”, about one woman’s multiple personality disorder, which is the basis for the movie “The Three Faces of Eve”. Another good one is “The Nanny Diaries”, which isn’t actually a true story, but is fiction based on the real-life experiences of two former New York nannies. But I wouldn’t say that I love the entire genre of memoirs, because there are some that are booooooring. “An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness” for instance, was pretty lame and repetitive. Since it’s a memoir of a bipolar woman (who also happens to be a psychiatrist) I thought I would be able to relate to it better, but it was a letdown in the same sense as “The Blair Witch Project”; it would build and build and there would be suspense and then… nothing. Totally anticlimactic.

Besides some memoirs and some suspense books, I also like the “chick lit” genre: some drama, humor and romance, but not over the top like a Harlequin Romance novel. These are fun “no-brainer” reads that are great for reading on vacation or a sick day. But I certainly don’t want to make that the staple of my reading material. I just don’t always have the attention span or brain power to process a heavy book like I used to, mostly from just having way too much on my plate on a daily basis, which is compounded by my unholy weekday waking hour. So when I go to the bookstore or the library, I generally have no clue where to even begin looking. Some books sound decent, but I always want to be really sure so I don’t waste my time on something that turns out to be lame. Of course, how will I know unless I try? I think the wanting to be absolutely sure about a book before committing is a throwback from hours spent standing in Barnes & Noble, trying to narrow down my choices and get the best options for my money; otherwise I would have always ended up spending a small fortune on books because there are so many that are interesting.

So, I need to get reading on a regular basis back into my life. Seriously. I need to make use of websites such as What Should I Read Next and reacquaint myself with the library. Intellectually I know that just because someone doesn’t read much it doesn’t mean they are dumb. But because reading was always such a big part of my life, I personally feel somewhat dumber for not reading books more often like I used to. Most days all my poor brain can handle is an article from Glamour or Reader’s Digest. Sometimes I can barely read that because of all the interruptions (my boys talk constantly during movies so about every other sentence I read is interrupted with chatter by a little person who expects some sort of response to a rhetorical statement). And I go to bed early (due to the aforementioned unholy waking hour) so I can’t spend a lot of time with a book in the evenings before bed, though I really ought to try.

Today I have started a new book called “Holy Cow: An Indian Adventure”, given to me by a friend at work (thanks Brook!). It is also a memoir, and though I’m only a couple of chapters in, I really like it so far. And I’m feeling inspired to find a book to read next. So, what should I read next?

Let me start by saying that Jacob is turning into me more and more everyday. So any of you who know me will understand why the following exchange did not end in punishment or admonishment of any kind (other than to tell him not to say this to anyone else!). We were in the car, driving to my mother-in-law's house, talking about Transformers.

Jacob: "All Transformers are too hard for Mommy." (followed by riotous laughter from the males in the vehicle)

Me: "Yeah? Bake a cake!"

Jacob: "Bite me!" (followed by laughter from all)

Brian said that comment was sent straight through from God himself. It was said with such perfect timing, I'm actually very proud. I can't possibly get mad at him for saying that because Brian and I have conversations like that on a regular basis, jokingly of course. It would be different if he had said it out of anger and slammed his bedroom door on me. But no, it was just another demonstration of the sarcasm that is so prevalent in our genes. (Thanks Dad!)

Though I do have to say that it can be difficult dealing with a mini male version of myself on a daily basis. But as long as we all maintain a somewhat compatible sense of humor, I'm sure things will be okay.

A blog in (mostly) pictures

Yet another fun Christmas has passed. The boys enjoyed their loot and the grown ups enjoyed spending time together watching movies and munching.






My dad

The boys got lots of Star Wars stuff, including a Clone Trooper helmet and gun for Jacob and a General Grievous (from the Clone Wars cartoons) gun. From Santa Jacob got a scooter and Logan got a big Hot Wheels city playset, which he loves. As he is carrying it off to his room, you can see that the box is almost as big as he is.







Hanukkah gift from the in-laws for Brian and I:


YAY!


Several days later we went on a snow adventure to Reno. We found a frozen reservoir in California near the California/Nevada border and took the boys to play for a while. Then we spent the night at the Silver Legacy, which I had gotten a really good deal for online.


A good breakfast at Bubbie's house to get the day started. Yummy!



On the trip to Reno:




Mr. Cool, ready for the snow and happy to have his picture taken....


...unlike big brother, who is not as tolerant of the paparazzi




The view from our hotel room on the 21st floor (and the reflection of my camera in the window)

It's snow time!


So excited!


Logan's not so sure about this stuff






What path?






I love this guy!





It's snowball time...











Our snowman


Our snowman got cold... Jacob shared his jacket


Our snowman after some, um, modifications













My super dirty car when we got home:





Lots of fun was had by all. We learned that the buffets aren't worth the money, the "Awful Awful" burger at the Nugget Grill in Reno is tasty but not as massive as we were lead to believe, the boys like the idea of a snowball fight better than an actual snowball fight, and packing a massive backpack of snacks and stuff to do for the kids is always a good idea.

It's certainly been a crazy month. The first week was spent preparing for Logan's 4th birthday party, which was on the 7th, which is the day before his birthday. Once the party was over I felt about a gazillion times better, and I could focus on preparing for Christmas and for our trip to the snow right before New Years. Or at least I could focus on sharpening my procrastination skills by avoiding preparing for, well, anything.



But then the Christmas shopping had to be done, which always sucks in December. Usually I try to do most of it in October and November, but really, I just didn't give a crap this year. Grinchy, I know, but tough shit, it still got done. The weekend after Logan's birthday party, the boys spent the weekend at Camp Gramma's, and Brian and I took that opportunity to do most of the shopping for the boys, as well as put up the tree, wrap their presents, and make a crapload of yummy, death-by-chocolate fudge to share with our co-workers and the boys' daycare center staff, who apparently devoured it all that day, much like years past. Oh, the sugar high! The indigestion! The Maalox chaser!



And speaking of Grinchy:





So now Christmas Eve is finally upon us. The boys and I baked cookies for Santa today, chocolate chip M&M and chocolate chip with toffee chips. I just know my husband Santa will love them. Tonight my dad will be here to spend the night, and in the morning, the present opening melee will begin, (not so) bright and early I'm sure.

I finally got around to elfing the boys. Actually, I've tried many times over the course of the month, but whenever I finished editing Jacob's picture and tried to save it, I would get an error message, something along the line of the server sucking ass and "fuck you, try again another time, sucka!". The boys think it's hilarious, though not quite as charming as last year, when they asked me to repeat it over and over and over and... well, you get the idea.

Besides the gift shopping adventures (um, hello, bitches in Target, when you are walking directly at me, why don't you at least pretend someone else exists on the planet and move a little, mkay?), we kicked off our holiday celebrations with Jacob's holiday show at school. All the first grade classes did a nice little program with songs and little skits. Jacob's class did the ABC's in portions throughout the show. Jacob and two of his classmates had the letter G and their line was, "G is for the goose, which you all know is fat." When I asked him to say his line for me the day before the show, he got all exasperated and said he was tired of practicing it. He sounded just like a teenager. Yeah, I can't wait for that shit on a daily basis.



He was super excited to have us both there, and he was actually singing and participating for most of the show, though he wasn't doing the arm motions along with the rest of the kids. He got bored toward the end, with about 2 or 3 songs left to go, and he stopped singing altogether. But all in all it was a huge success, considering past performances. Case in point, Pre-K graduation:



We were the only parents there whose child flat out refused to participate, choosing instead to sit in a chair behind the rest of his classmates, looking grouchy. Oh yeah, it was a very proud moment indeed. I felt like yanking him out of that chair and selling him to the gypsies. Or leaving him there, going home, moving, changing our name, and letting wild dogs raise him. But alas, we didn't, and we were richly rewarded more than 18 months later with almost full, though not always enthusiastic, participation in the holiday show. Score!

Then came the Hanukkah celebration at my mother in law's house on the first day of Hanukkah. It was a fun filled day of latkes and presents for the kids. Brian and I cooked all the latkes. I smelled like latkes for 2 days. Seriously. It was making me freakin' hungry!


Some rum and coke to enjoy while cooking. Hey, it was almost noon!










Utter freakin' deliciousness

The family descended upon the 3 big batches of latkes and sucked them all down, without too much grunting and belching. All of the kids (ours and their cousins) were less impressed by them, which leads me to wonder who the hell do all these kids belong to? But that just meant more for the grown ups. Yay!

Present opening time was less joyful, as Jacob was not pleased with what he received. Actually he was downright pissed off that he didn't receive the Star Wars Clone Trooper Voice Changing Helmet and the Star Wars Clone Trooper Blaster. (Shhhh, don't tell him, but Santa got it for him. And he may actually get it if he's not a total little shit again. He'll be fucking stoked!)

Logan did an excellent job of lighting the menorah, and I'm thinking next year we should start doing that here at home, so they will become more familiar with the traditions their dad was raised with.



And now we are barbecuing a tri-tip and I'm making (more!) latkes for Christmas Eve dinner. A little schizophrenic, I know, but I don't give a shit. It's my Christmas Eve and I want latkes! It's good to be the grown up sometimes!

Merry Christmas all. I hope you all enjoy your time with your family and that your loot doesn't suck!