Michelle's Madness

I've never bothered to make New Year's resolutions, mostly because I'm too lazy to bother or I simply forget. Or maybe it's because I know I won't keep them. In any case, this year is no different. No official resolutions, so I won't feel guilty about breaking them. However I do have a goal this year: lose 25-30 pounds. I'm dying to wear my red dress again, and I'd like to be able to wear it for my 10th anniversary in October.



I've already been making changes to what we eat (Brian is joining me in this craziness adventure) and already I'm seeing results. I started preparing to do this on December 30, and the changes have been in effect for 3 days, since January 2. Actually I started working on it on December 31, but frankly, after a handful of chocolate chip cookies and 3 huge rum and cokes, I gave up trying. Actually, I gave up giving a shit altogether.



On January 1, I didn't even try. We went to my aunt's house for the day and she had this dip from Trader Joe's that was to die for. Well, maybe I wouldn't die for it, but I'd definitely body check somebody to get the last one in the refrigerator case. It was the Sun Dried Tomato and Pesto Torta. The bottom layer is pesto cream cheese, then a layer of cream cheese, all topped off with a ton of sun dried tomatoes. If you haven't experienced this culinary delight, I suggest you get your ass in your car right now and break all traffic laws to get to your nearest TJ's. Cut off little old ladies meandering down the road at 10 miles under the speed limit in their full size Buicks (what is up with that shit anyway? As their driving skills decline, they get bigger, harder to maneuver cars. There should be a law against that), flip off any cop that dares to stand in your way, and mow down pedestrians if necessary (1,000 points if they try to run and you still nail them). Seriously, drop what you're doing and go. I'll wait. Don't forget to get crackers to eat it with. We had Wheat Thins, and that was yummy.


Hemline in the back

Basically, between the dip, the fudge I brought, and the enchiladas for dinner, I didn't even try. And I have no apologies for that. However I have been sticking to my plan since January 2 and it's been much easier than I expected. Last year I tried Weight Watchers for all of 2 weeks and I nearly went insane. My points range is the lowest they have, 18-23 points, and it was maddening for me to attempt compliance. I was starving! And all I wanted was a goddamn snickerdoodle. Twelve snickerdoodles, actually. So that didn't take.



So I've printed some of my most unflattering pictures for motivation, along with pictures of my dress, and I started my workouts this morning. I'm not following the Points system, but I'm using as a guideline to judge the worthiness of foods when I can. Worthiness as in "Is it worth it to put that in my mouth?" Also, I am a member of the website SparkPeople and it's very helpful. I've been pretty good at entering what I eat into the nutrition tracker, and entering my workouts in the fitness tracker. So far, I have lost 3 pounds. WOOHOO! I know the weight is going to come off the fastest at first, and I certainly don't expect to lose weight that quickly all the time, but I was very excited to see that when I stepped on the scale this morning. I was expecting maybe a pound. Now that's what I call motivation!

So up yours, New Years resolutions. I just want to get my body back! Look out world!