Michelle's Madness

We Tivo episodes of AFV (that’s America’s Funniest Videos for those of you not in the know) for the boys, which they sometimes watch after bath time or if they are cranky and need to just chill for a while. They love it! They laugh so hard, and they probably get some not-so-great ideas, but they are going to pick those up along the way anyway, just because they are boys. Anyway…

Last night we had gone to Brian’s work to pick up his car, and Logan fell asleep in the car on the way home. When he woke up, he was very groggy, and not a happy camper. Brian showered him because he had a sand-like substance (most likely sand) in his hair. Logan cried the whole time and was really mad that he couldn’t go outside to play, yet he could barely move because he was so tired. Try reasoning with THAT. He got into his jammas and came out into the living room to snuggle with me and we watched AFV. This put him in a much better mood, so he was a lot more open to the idea of going to bed when the show was over.

As we are watching, it occurs to me that this show would be a really valuable educational tool for parents of boys. “Why?” you may ask. Well, I’ll tell you.

You may have noticed this, but boys exhibit certain… behaviors, that seem to be distinctly tied to the Y chromosome. Examples of basic “boy behaviors” would be honing their sound effect skills and constantly adding new sound effects to their repertoire, as well as the tendency to run around and launch themselves off of things as if they were little stuntmen in training, or Evil Knievel reincarnate. But as I was watching AFV, I saw some stunning examples of behaviors that I don’t imagine even an adventurous girl dreaming up. One such example would be the 3 guys that appeared on screen holding hands. I was wondering why they were holding hands, while standing on a farm with farm animals surrounding them. Then one of the guys reached over and touched the electric fence, that I couldn’t see on my screen because of the screen size, and the fact that my glasses were all smudged. Perhaps it is situations like this that make HD TV so enticing: the ability to see absolutely EVERYTHING. So as soon as the one guy’s hand came in contact with the fence, all 3 guys jolted simultaneously as the electricity coursed through their bodies, and Tom Bergeron made a comment about even the farm animals being smart enough to keep away from the electric fence. Then the guys all just let go of each others hands and walked away nonchalantly, like nothing unusual had just taken place.

Seriously, I would never have dreamed up the idea to try that! But boys have to poke and prod things to figure out how they work, take them apart even, and that begins as very little boys. They start out with utter fascination with ceiling fans, which turns into an obsession with anything that spins. I’m speaking from experience with Jacob. From there they have to flip everything over and over and around and over again to try to figure out how things work, maybe even sticking a finger or two into the table fan to find out what happens, probably more than once. So apparently a little shock from an electric fence is all fine and dandy in the name of scientific discovery.

You are probably still wondering “Why in the hell would this be considered educational, you crazy woman?!” Well, I consider it educational because it gives me a glimpse of the future with two young boys. What kind of crazy, dangerous, idiotic things might my boys decide are good things to try as they get older? Does the idiocy diminish with age, or does it increase in direct relation to their age, experience, and knowledge? I do know that the crazy things boys do tend to get more elaborate with age, probably having something to do with having more experience, lots of time to dream up crazy schemes, and having more muscle to execute said crazy schemes.

And it seems that everything they try just raises more questions, leading to more zany behavior, and the cycle just repeats. At least it’s entertaining for the girls.

Maybe AFV will turn out to have some educational value for my boys as well. Maybe they will learn what NOT to do. Yeah, I’ll try to remember that when I see one of them jumping off a roof into a pool.