Michelle's Madness

I’ve been doing my 90 mile round trip commute for over 2 years, so I can do it in my sleep (but don’t worry, I won’t try that) so I’m used to crazies and traffic and whatnot and I don’t tend to freak out. But this morning I had one of the weirdest commute experiences. I’m not going to say it was the most terrifying, but it was pretty scary.



So I’m driving along on 99, which is still only 2 lanes at this point, minding my own business in the left lane, when the pickup truck in front of me suddenly starts pumping his brakes and slowing waaaaaay down, like from 70ish to 50ish. There was nobody in front of him, and I wasn’t anywhere near tailgating, so I have no idea why he did that. He then puts on his blinker to change to the right lane, gets halfway there then swerves violently back into the left lane. Seconds later he puts his blinker on again then changes lanes all the way, stays in the right lane for about 30 seconds (during which time I’m hanging back thinking that this dude is a total lunatic) then swerves back into the left lane again. Lather, rinse and repeat this whole scenario. Twice.

By this time I’m thinking this dude is either drunk or I offended his delicate sensibilities somehow. Finally he ends up in the right lane and is driving cool and I pass him because though he’s driving okay at the moment, he’s now doing about 55 behind a semi. I was hesitant to pass but there was someone behind me and I sure as hell didn’t want to get back behind this freak. So I pass and all seems well for about 30 seconds when he again violently whips into the left lane and comes up behind me with his foot to the floor, flashing his lights. I move into the right lane in front of the semi and the weirdo passes me, then swerves in front of me. He does his swervy driving for a while, and just when I’ve got my Bluetooth on to call CHP and report his ass, he swerves onto an exit and disappears. No point in calling the cops at that point; what would I tell them? “Hey, some guy was driving erratically and he exited at this exit and turned right?” Yeah, they’ll put a priority on that call.

The moral of the story is: Just because it’s 4:30 in the morning, that doesn’t mean your commute will be psycho-free. Because clearly this guy was fucking crazy.